Christmas Cookie Recipe

I am still getting asked about what I am baking for the holidays, so I thought I would give my recipe for my grandmother's cookies.

Christmas Cookie Recipe
1 cup of water -I tsp baking soda 1 cup of sugar I tsp salt 1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs 1 cup nuts 2 cups of dried fruit 1 bottle CROWN ROYAL
- Sample the CROWN ROYAL to check quality.
- Take a large bowl, check the CROWN ROYAL again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
- Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large bowl.
- Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
- At this point it's best to make sure the CROWN ROYAL is still OK, try another cup.. just in case.
- Turn off the mixer thingy.
- Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
- Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
- Mix on the turner, I mean turn on the mixer
- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver, or screwdriver----HEY that sounds good! Can I get one please!
- Sample the CROWN ROYAL to check for tonsisticity.
- Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.... who giveshz a sheet.
- Check the CROWN ROYAL.
- Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- Add one table.
- Add a spoon of ar, or somefink.... whatever you can find.
- Greash the oven.
- Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
- Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
- Finish the bottle of CROWN ROYAL.
- Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.