As you can see, the Crucifix which Pope John Paul II is holding up to adoring crowds is not the Traditional Crucifix, but is the Satanic Bent, or Broken, Cross! This Bent Crucifix was created by Satanists to depict Antichrist and his Mark of the Beast! Very soon, you will see the appearance of a global leader, calling himself The Christ, who will claim to be Jesus Christ returned, the Jewish Messiah, and the Avatar figure for which all the major religions are awaiting, all in one man. This will be Antichrist. Then, very quickly thereafter, a global religious leader will step forward to aid the Antichrist; this religious leader will possess the same miraculous power of Antichrist. At this moment, the prophecy of Revelation 13:11-14 will be fulfilled; this global religious leader will be the Biblical False Prophet.
What Do The Pope, Santa, and Satan really have in common? Tonites show and guest in Conspiracy Corner Joe Lanier discuss some rather scary similarities.
What do we know about Santa?-
*It dresses in blood red.
*It is immortal, as far as we know.
*It only appears at night, flying through the air with horned beasts at Its command.
*It uses some unknown sorcery to infiltrate billions of homes in one night. *It is not afraid of fire or heat (in chimneys, for instance) or cold for that matter.
*It has beady, coal-black eyes (all pupil, maybe, or perhaps insect-like).
*Its bloated midsection wiggles like gelatin (an undead substance made of decaying animal parts).
*It is sometimes called "Old Nick" (which pretends to refer to St. Nicholas, but is really a nickname [ETP] of the Devil).
*Its name is an anagram of Satan Lucas, which sounds very sinister to me ("the Light of Satan"?).
*It spreads Its message of greed and gluttony on the very eve of the celebration of Christ’s birth.
Indeed, many children believe in Satan Lucas many years before ever learning of the "true meaning of Christmas", and even then the "true meaning" is largely ignored, and the evil rites are passed on to another generation.
There is a song about It which begins, "you’d better watch out…"
Its minions, an elaborate network of spying adults, keep tabs on your behavior throughout the year, and postal services of the world dutifully deliver reports to It. In short, Santa Claus is an evil conniving demigod, who has become powerful enough to control the economy, tempt people to do very wicked actions (all cloaked in "holiday spirit"), and battle Jesus for control of his own birthday. The cult of Satan Lucas is growing rapidly. Children are being programmed to be evil minions when they become adults. Ritual sacrifices of innocent milk and cookies are offered up to Its obesity. Depression, crime, and suicides increase during the Christmas hellidays, and no wonder.
THE SANTA CLAUS CONSPIRACY
For years now, they've lied to us. But now the biggest conspiracy since
the incorporation of Yule into Christianity has been uncovered: There is no Santa Claus. Who wasn't told this absurd lie? For many, it was even by their parents! And who is behind this conspiracy? The C.I.A., the K.G.B.
or perhaps Mr. Macy? Was is an attempt by the Freemasons to boost their power with lies? The research department of that renown scientific journal SPY magazine (January 1990) has calculated and come to the shocking result: there is no Santa Claus!
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world.
BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the
tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.
The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a
second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
FBI INVESTIGATION REVEALS MORE!
It all began early this fall. An agent from the FBI was sent to the North Pole to investigate the lifestyle of Santa Claus. What he found was astonishing and shocking.
"Shocking"-- Ionesco
"The first thing I noticed was the horrible working conditions of the elves" wrote agent Lars Ionesco. "The room in which the elves create their toys was as small as a bathroom and smelled like one too. Besides this the elves were forced to work unreasonable hours. Santa would lock the elves within this room until they would produce 2000 toys apiece. The elves were fed one meal a day consisting of bread and prune juice." "After leaving this room," continued Ionesco, "I entered Santa's house. As I entered the house, I was rudely thrown right back out of the house by one of Santa's reindeer; I believe it to be Rudolph. After this incident, I returned to the States."
A more thorough investigation of old Kris Kringle proved that he was hiding something. First of all, Santa has avoided paying his taxes for over 45 years. It appears that Santa has also been charging all of his bills to the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny is having his own day in court later this month for two bombings that took place last Easter. The Bunny had no official comment about Santa at press time.
Another rumor has started that three of Santa's head reindeer were using illegal steroids, distributed by Santa. The three reindeer are Dasher, Blitzen, and Donder. The trio is currently on temporary suspension pending a complete investigation.
After a week of investigation, the esteemed Dr. X made a few discoveries of his own. He brought these discoveries to the Pentagon. Many charges have been brought up on Santa and his helpers as a result of this investigation.
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